Dot was not in cardiac rehab today, I was afraid to ask where she was. In cardiac rehab, we have become friendly, close, we share a common experience, we walk out for one another. People ask me if I am tired, Roger came in early to work on a machine he knows I like to use, we talk about our weekends, our lives, but there is always this thing in the room, this elephant if you will, that hovers over all of us, others perhaps more than me, perhaps not.

People disappear, some return, some don’t. It is a familiar thing by now, it has a ritual all of its own.

On the treadmill, a nurse came up to me and told me Dot was back in the hospital, she called to say she missed everyone and asked “how is Red?” She asked the nurse to give him a hug for her. I think Red was looking for her at the end of our workout, as I was taking my monitor off. I am thinking of Dot, I hope she returns.