I have a phone books worth of restrictions, the things I can’t carry, the things I can’t do, move or lift, but this idea struck me this morning – silly not to have thought of it before – that I was not prohibited from herding sheep with Red. Other than getting knocked over by Zelda or one of the other sheep, it doesn’t require any lifting or pulling, it is not forbidden.

My case nurse called up to check on me and I asked her if could herd sheep. She said she had never been asked that before and it wasn’t mentioned anywhere in my reports and documents. Thanks, I said, getting off the phone quickly. I got up out of my special reclining chair and took Red out to the pasture.

It was hot and there were a zillion bugs swarming all over us, she sheep did not want to move but Red dug them out of the barn and got them to the feeder. This felt wonderful, I’ll begin doing it every day now, herding and healing. It felt so good.

It was a good day, a strong day. We are beating the infection back, I think, the redness is disappearing, my nurse practitioner spotted it before it got to be trouble. I walked over two miles today, the nurse suggests that’s the limit each day for this week. It was the easiest walk, it did not hurt to breathe (until I sneezed) and my movements were the most fluid and easy they have been.

The engine on my reclining chair burned out and this led to more good news, the nurse said I could sleep in my own bed tonight, right next to Maria, for the first time in a couple of weeks.  I got detailed instructions on backing into bad, using my elbows, avoiding pulling or straining. That is very good news. Tomorrow, more writing on my “Talking To Animals” book, a massage on whatever parts of my Frankenstein body can be massaged, more walks and more rest. I think I am getting stronger by the day, but I am still weak, my body in transition and unpredictable. It is not my body yet.

I will go to Battenkill Books and get some books signed, and I will go see my friend George Forss, who I have dearly missed, I think this has been hard on him, we need to see each other. After the bookstore. George and Donna were chanting for me every day, I think I heard them in the operating room.

I have established my social media boundaries for open heart surgery. I do not seek or read any online advice about my heart and my healing, I do not read any reports of other people’s surgeries and recovery. Once or twice a day I scan the posts and soak up the good wishes and good feeling, these messages do help, they are healing and uplifting.

In the late afternoons, I crash, body and mind and withdraw from the world. After dinner, I return a bit, then have a creative burst and tire. That is the pattern, I am feeling better and stronger and more engaged with the world every day. Doing more things for myself, Nurse Ratched needs to get back to her studio, I want to take care of myself (but not this week, I just can’t.)

I accept that people will give me unwanted advice, I am through spouting off about it, if they need to give it, they will give it, if I don’t need to read it, I won’t. Sounds like a healthier place.