Friendship, like love, comes when you are  ready for it, I think, when you are open to it. I have had few friends in my life, none that I have kept for very long, or that have kept me. The reasons for that are complex, not really important to me now. Scott Carrino and I met less than a year ago, when he and his wife Lisa opened the Round House Cafe in Cambridge, N.Y., my town. Scott wears many hats, he is a Tai Chi instructor (mine) a musician, co-host of a farm institute and retreat, he is an idealistic man, a gentle man, a worrier, a creative, a dreamer an animal lover.

Twice, he brought boys from a New York orphan’s  home to the farm, but I had to guess that he was once an orphan in that very home himself. He didn’t bother to tell me.

Scott and Lisa’s cafe has turned him into something of a small businessmen, and I guess I am a small businessman too now, writing has changed and writers are learning a lot about the financial realities of life, and quickly. I am also learning about friendship. We talk about our businesses and how we are learning to run them. Scott is a very good friend, an  honest and open man, we both are achingly busy, he is intensely involved in the creation of the Round House Cafe, the heartbeat of our town in many ways now, we share a lot. It is natural to hug him when I see him. I love his earrings and Tai Chi pants, he does not look like a businessman.

I started going to see Scott on Tuesdays for my Tai Chi lesson, and then I started giving Scott writing lessons in exchange, and then we simply made it a point to get together and meet to talk about things – life, work, peace of mind, love and compassion. Scott sometimes plays songs he has written for me, as he did today, and I was excited to tell him about my Kickstarter campaign, and  how much it symbolized the new and exciting ways the Internet is changing the creative world. Friends always want to hear about each other, not just talk about themselves.

Friends make time to talk to one another, no matter how busy. Friends keep an eye on each other, life is filled with challenges and pressures. Listening to Scott work so hard to figure out how to run a cafe, hire staff, get supplies, anticipate business, cook food, deal with regulations and equipment – it is an education. He is equally mesmerized by my efforts to stay relevant as a writer. Today we both were laughing at an NPR radio report (yet another) on how much money one needs to retire securely. This time is was eleven times our annual salary. We both had a good laugh at that.

Scott means a lot to me, we support each other. I love his cafe and I might sell my white clam pizza there. Many people in the town know and love Scott, are eager to support him. I do not have such a history of being known, I have never stayed long enough in one place to be known. Scott is a gentler man than me, I think, but we are gentle with each other.

Scott is hosting my photo show with George Forss in February. My mentions of Scott on the blog and my photos have driven a lot of people to the Round House Cafe, and one blogger even bought an expensive painting they saw hanging on the Round House wall in one of my pictures. Scott and I are in one another’s lives. He loves donkeys and we are both plotting for him to get some. Sometimes he comes to the farm and we sit outside and talk. It is easy to talk to Scott, we never are without things to tell one another, we are always amazed when our time is up. We talk about family, kids, life.

It takes a strong man to sing a song to another, a strong man to love hearing it.

I am learning so much these past few years, one of the most important things I am learning is how to value friendship. Friends are important, like love, one of the threads of life. Every Tuesday, we make time for each other, even if only for a few minutes, it is the garden of friendship, the root.

There are several other men I know who have become my friends. Curious, I think, that the first step towards making friends is to simply let it happen. It is human nature.