(We are feeding the animals in the shelter of the Pole Barn, the sheep and donkeys can get wild in close quarters, it can be dangerous, Simon kicked Ted the ram halfway across the barn when he tried to take some of his grain, Red’s job is to stay close and keep the sheep on their side until the grain is eaten. Not easy, he does it well.)

This kind of cold affects so many people, it is difficult to comprehend how much discomfort and suffering it brings to so many millions, many not as comfortable as Maria and I in our sturdy farmhouse. For people who live with animals, and who love them, there is a special kind of discomfort, for pets and especially for farm animals. We can keep our pets safe and warm, although many suffer too. Ours are warm and comfortable. The barn cats are inside, the dogs are curled up by the wood stove.

My friend Jane Dubert, who has communicated with me for years, lives on a small farm in Iowa and she wrote today that the cold over the past few weeks is difficult for her to bear. The forecast for tonight was 18 below, she wrote, the same as for Bedlam Farm. Next week, she said, there is a three day stretch forecast for lows of 10 to 25 below at night and highs of – 8 to – 5 during the day. She has started to get little goats, she wrote, the sheep have not yet started “and I keep telling them to cross their legs for awhile. Of all the things that I find depressing and difficult to deal with,” she wrote, “it is that biting cold where I really can not do anything to keep the animals warm.”

I was grateful for her message, I too wanted to reach out to somebody feeling this special concern on such a night.

What Jane said is so true for me. Animals are hardy, many have lived out in the cold for thousands of years, but when animals are in your care and the weather is as savage and unrelenting as it is tonight – bitter cold, piercing winds, driving snow – then the worst thing is that I really can do nothing to make the animals in my care comfortable. I cannot do much for the millions of people grappling with the cold – I will do what I can do – but my animals are just a few yards away and I feel so responsible for them. We have brought grain to them, extra fresh hay, piled old hay on the barn stall floor and in the Pole Barn. We opened up the cow stall just off the Pole Barn for the donkeys, we have plenty of fresh and heated water available to them.

But on this kind of a night, where it is almost unbearable even to step outside – it is -16 now with strong and gusting winds and snow – they are out on their own, we can keep them nourished and alive, but not warm and comfortable. That is the boundary between pets and animals, as Jane wrote, the particular pain of being responsible for animals. Red and I just went out to the barn, it was hard to walk or breathe out there, my fingers were throbbing before I got to the barn, I gave the animals treats and alfalfa, I believe in storms it is comforting for them to see me, they are unsettled and restless.

The snow is up to my knees in parts, the wind driving it into my face and eyes. Snow has blown in under the closed doors and windows, it does not melt, even after hours on the floor. The windows are rattling, the wind is blowing drifts across the yard and porch and pastures. Tomorrow we will have to rush outside in temperatures well below zero, doing chores for as long as we can bear it, then running inside to keep warm. Maria keeps trying to get me to stay inside and let her do the chores, I won’t do that, I am not nearly there yet, I will do my part and share this with her.

I was grateful to get back inside, I will be up through the night to check on the barns and make sure water is flowing through the cold pipes, whipped by the merciless wind against the back of the house. It is difficult for so many people, I think of them and wish comfort for them, but Jane spoke to my heart, the worst thing is that i cannot keep these animals warm.

Stay comfortable, Jane, you can only do the best that you can, the same as me. That is good enough. A life with animals of any kind, pets or farm animals, is a life of concern and responsibility, people like us are drawn to it like bees on honey. Weather like this is a gift, defining, part of what it means to be human to to risk love.