Here’s how the donkeys have trained me to give them carrots every day.

l. When I come outside, all three come go the gate.

2. They stick their snouts out through the opening.

3. They wheeze and bray piteously, the brays becoming increasingly loud as time passes.

4. They are disciplined. Once the braying starts, they keep it up many minutes after I go into the house.

5. Research. They understand that I crack at about five minutes, even after I repeatedly yell at them

that they have had enough treats, I’m busy, they aren’t getting any more. They ignore these shouts

and imprecations.

6. By the fourth minute, sometimes sooner, I go the barn – from wherever I am – muttering and cursing

at the donkeys, telling them they are spoiled, that I’m not going to do this every day.

7. If Maria is outside, she is usually laughing at me by now, asking why I don’t just give up and admit they have

me  trained. I do not admit that.

8. I go into the barn to get the donkey cookies, the brays get louder, more event and even more piteous.

They almost sound like jeers.

9. I bring each of them two or three small cookies, oats or alfalfa and I listen to the sound of them crunching.

10. One day I will train the donkeys to leave me alone when I come outside.