I had a wondrous codeine dream last night (one-fourth of the bottle left, cold is getting much weaker, I am getting stronger), this one involving aliens and a pre-dawn argument with my former girlfriend about the demonizing of extra-terrestrial beings.

In my dream, it was the dark of night, I saw a powerful light out in the pasture over the barn, I grabbed my camera and rushed outside, there was a slender green woman with radiant, almost radioactive eyes out in the apple tree behind the pole barn, she was sitting on a limb and talking earnestly to Lulu, one of the donkeys. At first, I thought it was a fairy or an elf, but then I looked up and saw a ship pulsating above the pasture, there was no doubt this was an alien being, I reached for my Iphone to call my friend George Forss, he is a UFO Investigator with an investigations van, he talks to alien beings all the time. But the cell signal was somehow blocked.

I walked up to the alien, she smiled and waved and then I got a text from her on my Iphone, it said “I am friendly. We have no desire to snatch people and bring them back. Why would we? We don’t have guns or anger or violence on our planet, we have no need of you people.” I texted back, “Welcome, I have never understood why everybody on earth assumes aliens must be dangerous and want to snatch us, we are ego-centric, xenophobic and short sighted.” It turns out the alien loved Lulu and has been communicating with her for several years – so this, I thought, is what Lulu has been out staring out all this time! We had the nicest time, she loved Red and was excited to see him herd sheep in the night, she read one of my books and liked it, she was happy about me and Maria – she said she had been watching me fall apart at Bedlam Farm and she coyly suggested she had something to do with transporting Maria over to the Studio Barn, and made sure we met. Hmmm…I’ve always wondered how I could find my love in a town with more cows than people.

She advised me to look at the bug-eyes of the sheep. These are my sisters, she said, they have been here for years.

I woke up and told Maria about this dream and she said she didn’t want to hear it, aliens scared her, they didn’t want to be snatched. I accused her of being an alien bigot, why assume they mean us harm, they could just as well be wishing us good? “Yeah,” she said, “what about Mulder’s sister!” Oh, I said, speechless, the X-Files. That was fiction, I sputtered, but she didn’t want to hear it.

We had a good (and real) argument about whether aliens get a bad rap, I described the sweet creature I met in the pasture, and she sort of darkly hinted I was flirting with her, that she had charmed me somehow. I was huffed, I got up and fed the animals and let her sleep some more, we have some really wonderful arguments, this was one of the best.

Couple of teaspoons of codeine left, it’s good stuff, I have had some of the best dreams. When you think about it, aliens do get a bad rap, I hope to see mine again. Meanwhile, take a good look at Zelda’s eyes.