When you nearly lose your life in one way or another, for one reason or another, you may be awakened, as I was, to the meaning and messages of life. This morning, I woke up thinking about my Ted Talk Saturday, and I told Maria that I have been anxious about many things in my life, but I am nothing but eager and excited to return to New Jersey and deliver my message to the waiting world. My messages has evolved, changed, filled out, softened, wandered here and there but it is becoming clearer by the day, I see it in the letters I get to Post Office Box 205 and in the messages I see posted on Facebook and in the e-mail I get.

Bedlam Farm is about encouragement and fulfillment, it is about living a meaningful life at any age, about turning away from the prophets of anger and greed and fear, about the powerful and glory of a creative life, of a spiritual life, of a life with love and connection.  I had this curious feeling this morning, it was not about worrying about my speech, rehearsing or polishing it, it was about my gratitude at being able to deliver the message of my life, the message of the blog, of Maria, of her life as well and our life together.

I have been a hospice volunteer for six years and never once in that time have a heard a dying man or woman tell me their regret in life was not having more money, long-term health insurance or a fatter IRA account. My message is to never let other people reduce our own expectations for life, to never give up their lives in a cloud of fear and confusion.

Three years ago, struggling to recover from a painful divorce, a deep recession, the collapse of publishing and much of my writing life, I re-married at age 63 in an old barn on a farm I bought when I was 57 years old. As part of my vows to Maria, I read the poet Mary Oliver’s beautiful anthem “Mornings At Blackwater:”

“So come to the pond,

or the river of your imagination,

or the harbor of your longing,

and put your lips to the world.

And live

you life.”

I have a message that is important to me, I am eager to offer it and grateful for the opportunity to return to New Jersey and accept the wonder that is any person’s life.