So here we are again, back in this very real place in the real world of real animals, the other side of the farm fantasy. I’ve had sheep for 15 years, and this is so familiar to me, sheep eat the wrong things, get footrot, bloat, infections, deficiencies. Sick sheep suddenly die, say the vets, and this is true, we got up early to see that Tess is struggling this morning, she is Maria’s favorite ewe, she is gentle and affectionate and has beautiful wool.

Tess is still alive, not doing so well.

We tried a number of things last night, we are trying some more things this morning, we have things to consider, decisions to make. It is, as always, a bad time to deal with this, I have a new book coming out, interviews to do, Maria is swamped with work, we are heading to New York this weekend for my Ted Talk, but a sick animal on a farm is one responsibility, one chore, that cannot really be put off. When is it a good time? If I were a real farmer, Tess would be gone by now, put to rest. You don’t spend a lot of money on a ewe, or on a barn cat.

We got Tess up on her feet this morning, she is weak-kneed, breathing heavily, unresponsive. Her eyes are clear, her head is up, good things.

Today we will decide whether or not we can help Tess to get well or whether we must euthanize her and take her body out into the woods for the coyotes and other animals of the forest. As always I will share the process, but not surrender it to strangers on the Internet who do not know us or Tess and are not here – we are not seeking your advice or paying much attention to it, we will make whatever decisions we make together and in a loving and considered way, I have been here so many times before, I know the possibilities and the options. First, we worry about Tess not suffering, then we see if there are reasonable things we can do.

We will also consider cost, we just spent $1,700 on Minnie’s leg, we cannot and will do that again or come close.

I trust my instincts, they have  have been well tested and honed in my time on my farms – I have probably had dozens of sick sheep in that time –  I told Maria I do not have the sense that Tess’s time has come, only that she isn’t feel well and isn’t getting better. I am hopeful, open, prepared. Maria is very grounded and clear-headed as well, we are together as usual, we will do what we can do, taking into account all of the things that come into a real life with real animals – suffering, perspective, cost, time.

How much money does one spend on a sick ewe?, I know what my farmer friends would say, no more than the cost of a ewe at market, which isn’t much. How much time? When does one call a vet or do what we have done so often, handle it ourselves? When should we be advocates for Tess and end her suffering and pain?

Animals are so different, donkeys are so  hardy, we have never put out an emergency call for a donkey, they take care of themselves, they are near indestructible. Sheep are very different, they are so hard to read and treat. I will let you know what happens, and thanks for you good and warm messages – Tess is special to us – and I will thank you in advance for not telling us what we should do, it is not welcome or helpful.

I do not respect people who diagnose other people’s animals on the Internet – dogs, cats, or sheep. And I do not listen to them. Thanks for letting us work things out in our way, it is a part of who we are, our respect and understanding for one another, our love of animals, our wish to keep that love in healthy perspective.