Sue and Dan Dugard have been a sweet running story since Monday. I ran into Sue and Dan at George Forss’s studio when I went for my photo lesson (which was amazing, more later) and they were in Cambridge because they had read my  blog and books and wished to see the things I wrote about. They booked a room on a nearby farm.  They had no intention of seeing or meeting me, had not even driven by the farm as they had no wish to disturb me or contact me. I liked them right away, Sue is quiet, strong, thoughtful, an oncology nurse and artist who has seen a lot to be thoughtful about. Dan described himself as a “kept man,” a former bush pilot among other things, he is not kept at all, just self-effacing.

I have a pretty good instinct about people, I’m old enough to have known a few,  I sensed two kindred spirits and invited them to lunch at the Round House (they met Scott Carrino) and then over to the farm.  We had a great time at lunch pulling out our Ipads and laptops show trade photos and maps showing exactly where Dunham, Ontario is. They met Simon and the donkeys, were duly amazed at Red’s skills with sheep and his affectionate demeanor.

Maria came to lunch and gave Sue and Dan a tour of her studio, and then she went back to work and the three of us sat out by the Adirondack chairs and talked for an hour or, about our lives, our families, technology, publishing and life in America (like most Canadians, they are mystified by America these days). It was good conversation, easy and honest and connecting. Sue’s work as an oncology nurse has clearly burnished her soul and her dignity. Dan’s wild ride’s as a Canadian bush pilot gave him a fairly unique perspective as well. They met when he flew her to medical emergencies in the Canadian wild.

I was right, we are kindred spirits, I was sorry to see them leave, it felt easy and safe to open up to them. I’d love to live near them as friends, these warm, articulate and empathetic people with great plans to grow older together and do some amazing things. The Dugards do not have a TV, keep some distance from technology (Sue was toting an Ipad), they are not planning to downsize, but to do more creative things together when Sue eventually retires. They will do it, Dan is a master craftsman who gave me a metal bottle opener he made himself.

Within seconds of my mentioning their visit on the blog, I got the inevitable dubious messages of warning on Facebook and via e-mail. One warned that I was sending “mixed signals” to my readers by inviting a stranger to the farm while also writing about invasions of privacy. They did not seem to appreciate the difference between inviting someone to the farm and having them pull into the driveway uninvited. One dispenser of alarms, a vibrant Facebook sub-culture,  said strangers can be dangerous, especially with the Internet, these innocent people could be anyone, how did I know they were safe and to be trusted? That they weren’t plotting to rob the place or steal my identity (would they get my bills and debts?).

This, I know, is the world we live in where parents are terrified for their children, people are afraid to put their names online, doctor’s offices are filled with warnings and alarms, the media is a horror show,  and where it is now easier for disturbed people to buy machine-guns than it is for many Americans to vote.

I do not wish to live that way. Life can intrude at any time, it happens every day. I am glad I took the risk of friendship, I received the gift of friendship.

I understand the realities life, I covered them for years as a journalist.  I do not choose to live in fear, I do not see my world as a dangerous place, and I don’t wish to be the kind of person who can’t take a risk for friendship or connection. Forts don’t have to be made of steel and concrete, you can build one right in your head every day, especially if you watch their news.

If I pay for it one day, that is my decision, that is a fair bargain in exchange for meeting good people like Dan and Sue. I told them I doubt I till get up to rural Ontario anytime soon, but they are always welcome at our farm.