Today is roughly the end of the second week of my brush with Lyme Disease, a mysterious and confusing affliction believed to be carried by some forms of ticks, one of nature’s curious and seemingly useless creatures (I’m sure they have a function.) When I think of Lyme, I describe it this way, it is like being hit by a large truck with soft bumpers. It doesn’t kill you, but you are sore and aching all over. Fevers and chills descend and disappear, rise and fall.

Humans are curious creatures, when you get sick they rarely tell you that you will be fine in a week or so, they collect all of the horror stories they can remember or have heard and line up to offer as many warnings as they can collect. Warnings, like fear, is part of the new American currency, I cannot go on any social media page without being warned of new food dangers, poisons, medical discoveries, horror stories about illness and battered animal. Everybody has a horrific Lyme Disease story to share, usually accompanied by grim visages and cautions about the people who never quite recover from it. Plus, of course, much Internet advice, free and mostly useless.

Lyme Disease, like grieving or creativity, is very personal, one of the most individualistic illnesses I have come across. It affects every person differently. Some get rashes, some don’t, some have that bulls-eye, many don’t, some feel the bites, many never do. I know ticks well, have seen them and lived around them for years, many have taken a little nip out of me, walked around my clothes, my neck, my shoulders and legs. They are agile and clever rascals, they can scoot around your clothes or body for days, ride on mice and squirrels,  deer and rabbits. They love old leaves and the many good nesting places in the grass and woods.

Doctors seem confused about Lyme Disease, insurance companies are fighting off payments as long as they can, this is America, you haggle over your health costs like customers in some Asian marketplace. I joked the other night that I wasn’t ready for a Lyme Disease Support Group – there are many, and many have contacted me  – and got some disapproving glances, it is serious, I was told, many people suffer horribly, nothing to make light of. I know this is so. This is also America, the humorless land of dire possibilities.

My Lyme is still taking up some time, I still feel it. The sweats and chills still come around, usually in the middle of the night,  the sudden fatigue. I didn’t try holistic medications for it, I hear of many that work, I just wanted to feel better quick. When you get sick your medical philosophy is tested, it is so easy to panic, that is part of our currency too. Our health care system might be a muddled mess, but there is no dearth of pills to be given out, now and forever. Pharmaceutical companies seem a good investment.

I am told that every time a tick bites me I need to go get on prescription antibiotics for the rest of my life. I will have to think about that. I am much better, feel stronger and am recovering. I have two more weeks of antibiotics and I will finish them. I think if there is a next time, I might explore some of these holistic herbs. I can’t control the world, but I don’t want to make Lyme Disease a way of life, another chit in the world-is-a-dangerous place theme,there are plenty of people filing stories on that channel. I see that I have had it a long time. I know this because my legs and joints feel much better than they have in months, it just took its time to erupt.

I am sorry for those for whom Lyme Disease is a continuing and painful illness. It does not feel like I will be one of them, I believe I will feel it for a good long time, perhaps forever, I do not believe it will alter my life in any profound way. I’m ready to move on, but the Lyme Disease doesn’t quite agree, the green pills are chipping away it. It will be fine, I am grateful to wear it down, as it has done to me.