I saw this photograph taken last Spring, just after Izzy died. We were saying goodbye to him, he is buried in the garden at Bedlam Farm where he loved to lie and look out over the valley. Izzy did a lot of good in his short time in this world. A spirit dog, he helped many people leave the world with some love and grace and he helped me reconnect to human beings when I had nearly cut the cord. Lenore and Frieda showed no signs of missing Izzy, but they did often come and sit by the garden after he died, perhaps wondering where he was.

Earlier this week, a friend called me and asked me to stop by at the impromptu memorial service she was holding for her dog Leo, a 12 year old Lab/Retriever mix. I knew the dog well and decided to go. She loved this dog dearly and he had accompanied her on so many passages of life. It was a beautiful thing, so appropriate, never maudlin or tied to drama. My friend shares my view of animal loss and grieving. She said at the service for Leo – she brought a cushion he had chewed up when he was a puppy – that he was the father of a million smiles.

She was laughing and smiling and crying at her memories of Leo. Another dog is on the way, adopted from a shelter in Canton, Ohio. She was so grateful for Leo, she said, so eager for the next dog. She was not looking to meet Leo at the other side, she hoped he was free to fly to his next life. She asked me to say a few words, something I might ordinarily decline but I so loved her spirit and the feel of this service that I got up and did say a few words, as I know she feels the way I do about grieving. “Having dogs for me,” I said, “is nothing but a river of joy, it just keeps flowing. It is a joy to get each one, and what a gift that we can repeat this experience again and again, there are so many wonderful dogs out there awaiting us in shelters and breeder’s kennels.

“Leo brightened all of the lives of the people around him, left a wake of smiles, love and memory. Our last gift to him is a promise to love the next dog just as much and just as well. Leo came and left in love. We will not turn our sorrow into lament, our loss to misery. We celebrate the gift of his life. Our wish for Leo is that he return again and again to brighten the lives of needy and confused human beings, his legacy is love unconditional, from his first breath to his last. Our wish for ourselves is that we swim in this river of joy and welcome his successor into our lives.”  We looked at some photos of Leo, laughed and traded stories, cried a bit too. He was buried in  her garden, as Izzy was in mine.

I loved the way my friend grieves, perhaps because it is the way I grieve. The river of joy is not a river of tears, although tears will come for Leo, they are cleansing too. We both remembered the little girl who told me once that she loved her dead chicken so much, she could not wait to love another animal again. For me, this is the legacy of love and loss when my animals die.