Later in life, I have become a scholar of light, an expert on sensing where the light is coming from, where it lights. Sophia Loren says the key to aging well is avoiding “old person” noises, like grunts or moans. I caught myself grunting when I got up out of my reading chair today and thought of her. I think the key to getting older is to not listen to anybody talk about aging. Doctors offer nothing but pills and more pills, advertisers pretend there are no older people, older people are trivialized in media and movies and most of the novels I read as well.

I am aware of my place in life, but I do not intend to give up work, love, sex or surrender myself to the old age chatter I sometimes hear. One friend came up to me in a grocery line and told me he wasn’t buying green bananas any more. I didn’t get the joke but he winked and elbowed me several times asking me if I bought green bananas. I finally got it and asked him why he spoke of himself in that way, and he mumbled something and left. Old people noises are not just about grunts and moans, but the words that come out of people’s mouth. At our age. How is your health? My health is fine, and why is it anybody else’s business? I don’t ask people I meet on the street how their health is. And I will not spent my remaining years talking about it either.

I take great pleasure in refusing the patronizing offer of senior discounts and suggesting they go to the people in our culture who need them the most – strapped young people with small kids. I can buy a cup of coffee without the assistance of Dunkin’ Donuts.

I looked over some demographic figures for my blog and Facebook today and was happy to see a third of the people reading my stuff are under 40, another third 40 to 55, the rest either older or men. Good demographics to have. I hope to be a reminder as I age that nobody gets to define us but us. I watch the old people noises that come out of my mouth. This is a great time to open up and change. In many ways my life began at age 58, when I bought Bedlam Farm and everyone in my life suggested I had lost my mind. Only later was it clear that I was just beginning to find it.