I’ve lived around ovens my whole life, but I’ve never cleaned one or had the faintest idea how it was done. That seems incredible to me. Last night while I was cooking dinner, the oven smoked and I thought I saw a flame spurt up from the grease that had accumulated on the bottom. Maria said she would get to it, but I know she is busy today and this bulb went off in my head. Why should she do it? Why couldn’t I do it, and learn how to do it. It seemed one of those things I just always assumed somebody else – it was always a woman – would do, and not me.

Maria was happy to relinquish it.  Maria is a feminist but it did not occur to her that I would want to clean the stove or know how to do it. I was embarrassed by the significance of that. In recent weeks we both have been doing a lot of things we used to let other people do – fix latches, level the clothes washer, weather strip the doors, spread chicken wire across the barn.

There is a lot of talk about women’s issues and sensitivities but very few about men and their own need for a direction, for liberation, if you will. Men are often cut off – by themselves and other social factors – from learning how the world works around them. Maria wrote recently about the idea of the Divine Feminine, the desire of women and men to connect with the creative and nurturing parts of themselves.  Men seem to be in charge of the universe, but I think many men are unhappy in the roles society has cast for them. They have never head a truly meaningful men’s movement. They need one.

This morning I drove to the Ace hardware store in Cambridge and Bev helped me pick out the right cleaner (no fumes), brush and paper. We talked about how long to let the cleaner sit, how to avoid the heating elements. It was astounding to me that I have lived near ovens all of my life, and never cleaned one or learned how it was done. No one ever asked me, it was just always assumed it was not something a man would do. Or perhaps I assumed that. Either way, time to move ahead. I am much in favor of equality for women, of their liberation. I am much in favor of equality for women, of their liberation. I am also in favor of mine, and what I want to do is liberate myself from life-long notions of what women do around my house and what I do.