Sometimes, in the middle of the night, fear sits in my bedroom, on the side of the bed, as cheeky and familiar as a lover you can’t leave or turn away. He whispers to me, he looks just like a Teddy Bear, normal, endearing. Hey, he says, we need each other.

No, I answer, you are a lie, and I will answer you with the affirmations of my life.

Oh, he says, you think it is that easy?

No, I say, it is so hard, but still, I can do it and I will do it. I answer you with every bit of love I make and get.

I answer you with every photo I take, and every word I write.

Every friend I have, every decision I make that is mine, not yours.

Every act of kindness, every turn from anger,

Makes you wither and shrink, and gasp for air.

But I am stronger than you, he said, not smiling now, I am still here.

And so am I, I said, and I will be here every day, every night, for the rest of my time.

For every day is a gift, a chance, an opportunity to smile and you and tell you that you are

nothing but a lie.