I am sorry to see that the number one dog training book in America is called “Training The Perfect Dog,” because, to me, wanting the perfect dog – like wanting the perfect child – has nothing to do with love, obedience, discipline or training.

For me, training a dog is an exquisitely beautiful experience. The most important part for me is that I do not ever read training books – expensive and complex volumes that generally tell us to do things most of us – me – could not possibly do. Dog training is a sad disaster in America, I think. The North American Veterinary Conference did a survey a couple of years ago estimating that less than 3 per cent of America’s more than 73 million dogs are trained at all. No wonder.

People are asked to make some dreadful choices – be a pack leader and think like a dog, try and be positive in the face of nearly continuous provocation and confusion – or try and read a dog’s tail and body movements to a degree I have never found remotely possible in my life or on any walk.

For me, training is done in just the opposite way – inward, personal, individual. Where do I live? How much space? Traffic? How many people? How much noise and distraction – cars, other dogs. The idea that anyone – me included – could offer universal ideas for dog training seems so absurd to me, yet it does explain why so many people abandon dog training. It is hard and no one outside of themselves can really tell them how to do it.

Training a dog is easier for me than many people. I generally get my dogs from great breeders who breed for temperament, health and demeanor. My odds go way up with dogs like Lenore and Red. I do not get dogs for moral reasons or to feel good about myself, I get dogs that fit into my life and make sense for me.

I have a farm, plenty of space, few distractions. I am home most days. I have room in the house for crates, no close neighbors to complain about noise. If you are different from me, if you live in a Louisville suburb with three children, then I have little to offer you. Dog training seems like a pyramid scheme to me, a few people getting rich telling other people how to do things most of them can’t or won’t do.

For me training is about learning how to talk to my dogs. Finding out what the love, and using it against them. Maintaining my dignity – I will not be jumped on, have squabbling over food, be pestered at the table, be bothered with balls in the house. This is about my dignity, my work, my peace of mind. I will give them good lives, they will honor mine. Dog training is intuitive, it comes from with it. It is empowering, once one puts all the books away and stops seeking the guru with all of the answers.

You are the guru. You know your dog. You have the answers. That is the exquisite beauty of training a dog.