Red is getting back to work, slowly but enthusiastically. He is back in form, running well and without any discomfort. We are working in short bursts, once a day.

Watching him has also reminded me to watch myself. The move and its attendant anxieties and challenges has brought back my scary voice in the night telling me we won’t survive this, nobody will buy Bedlam Farm, I will run out of money before we even get a chance to live there.

So I am getting to apply many of the things I learned in my recent explorations of fear and spirituality.

– Be careful what goes in. I am keenly aware of meditating, staying away from endless bad news, and people relaying endless bad news.

– I am working hard. To conserve money, to raise money, to spend money wisely. I do not believe money comes from imagining it or thinking loving things about it and I am thinking about how to pull off of this off. That will get me up at 3 a.m.

– One day at a time. The thing with fear, I think, is not to go backwards or forwards. Often, I blame myself for taking too many risks, for not doing what mature people always do – save money, be cautious, downsize, downsize. I believe that there is no risk too great for a meaningful life, and if I ever have to sacrifice my life for anything, that would be a worthy cause.

But there is this. Like Red, I need to go one day at a time. I am good now, I am fine now. My books have never been better received and I have never been prouder of them. I love my blog, my photos. I love my wife and my life. I love my dogs and my donkeys, my friends and my farms, new and old.

Can you have more wealth than that? I must remember, as Thoreau urged, to not adapt the values of the world I left behind. Security, fear and a smallness about life. So stay with me. We will get there.

Me and Maria. Me and Red. Me and Simon. Me and you.