Pigeon One: Hey you watching the conventions?

Pigeon Two: Are you kidding? Why would a pigeon watch the conventions? No never mind to us who wins. There’s no national pigeon policy I know of unless they manage to wipe out the whole planet.

Pigeon One: What are the kids doing?

Pigeon Two: Well, Maria is cranking out a bunch of potholders and he’s freaking out about the new house, on the phone all morning with electricians and cable companies. He’s fussing over the money, you know, the usual.

Pigeon One: Nothing new. Stressful time. It’s always the same story with them.

Pigeon Two. They’re holding up, you have to cut them some slack. A lot going on.

Kind of cute, I think. Let’s go crap in the carriage barn.

Pigeon One: We have a whole forest to crap in.

Pigeon Two: The barns are more fun. Atmospheric. We can taunt that awful barn cat.

Pigeon One: What’s he doing? Is that a gun?

Pigeon Two: It’s his camera, he’s always pointing it at something. He’s pointing it at us.

Pigeon One: I’m kind of nervous. What will the new people be like?

Pigeon Two. Do your breathing. Don’t freak out about what you can’t control.

Pigeon One: Where did you learn that?

Pigeon Two: Oprah. She’s very spiritual.