A friend of mine called me up yesterday morning, and in the odd way of men, was trying to wish me a happy birthday. “How does it feel to be old?,” he said. I don’t know, I said. I just turned 65. This birthday was, I think, the best birthday I have ever had, perhaps because there is someone in my love who loves me and worked hard and thoughtfully to make it so. Maria arranged for us to take a pre-dawn balloon ride, and then to go to a favorite in for dinner and walks in the Vermont hills. As always, we talked, laughed, planned our lives. This inn was the place we came to together when our lives collapsed on us, when we began dating, on our birthdays and anniversaries, on our honeymoon. We had dinner there and just trembled at our lives.
Maria put so much thought and love into my birthday, love just makes the world shine. There is no greater present than Maria’s love. None.
The staff at the inn knows our story and is always happy to see us. A few weeks ago, I decided that my farm could take care of itself and didn’t need altars, private conversations with me, or other totems to sell. I let it go. There is suddenly some real interest in the farm, lots of calls, one showing just finished another coming up Saturday. I have given up trying to figure this out. It will happen when it is good and ready to happen, and I think the moment is close to say goodbye to this precious place. I feel good about this showing. I sense it is someone who loves the farm and gets the farm and that is what Maria and I want for it. I will leave it to them and the farm to talk to one another.
I am grateful for my birthday. It was the best birthday. If I’m not happy about that, then what could possibly make me happy. And I am happy for another good reason. Last week, when I was discouraged about things, I woke up thinking I wanted to talk to my big brother. I called him and he was so helpful to me, it was a great shock. Life has pulled us apart, and I never have called my big brother to help me out before. “I’ve been waiting for this call my whole life,” he said, and I just put the phone down and stared at Maria for a long time, so much emotion welling up. How can you have a better birthday present than the ones I got yesterday.