Living with dogs well takes thought and care, I believe, something not exactly in vogue in busy and fragmented America. Many people tell me they would not dream of paying for a dog, even if they would drive 25 miles to Wal-Mart to save 25 cents on a towel made in China. Many people tell me the only way to get a dog is to rescue them, and I sometimes shake my heads at these messages as most of these people will never know the wonderful experience of thinking carefully about a dog, researching breeds and breed characteristics, searching for the rescue group or shelter that really gets to know their dogs and match them up or finding the professional breeder who knows every health and behavioral trait in his or her line for 50 years and can give you what you need.

People get dogs on all sorts of impulses – they are cute, they were abused, they saw a movie, they want something to go with their new sofa – and as with anything else, you get what you deserve. Getting a dog is a big deal for me, and I am plenty impulsive, but if you are bringing an animal into your home with kids and people and visitors for a decade or so, I want to know just about everything about them before they get there. The more work you do, the better the odds of getting the dog you want. Most people have an image in their heads of the dog they really want, but they are often bombarded by advice, politics, online chat room wisdom or Aunt Talleluhah’s armchair expertise. Frieda is a wonderful dog, a creature who lived in the wild, was pulled out a shelter,  her life bounded by her mistreatment and experience. Red is a dog that can only come from a very skilled animal breeder and no other place. Lenore also.

There is no one way to get a dog, or to do any other worthwhile thing in the world.

I get the dog in my head and I wait and I search and I make it work. I am opening up to dogs. Orson brought me to this farm. Rose helped me live here. Lenore kept love alive for me. Frieda helped bring Maria to my life. Red is a dog I have been waiting for my whole life, and I cannot even guess where he will bring me. I am open to it when it reveals itself.

I do not read books when I get a dog. I do not ask for other people’s opinions. I listen to my heart and nobody else’s heart. I do not need to rescue a dog. I do not need to buy one. I need to get the dog I want. I  close my eyes and imagine my life with a dog, maybe a genial Lab to hang around, a skitsy border collie to keep me moving, a grounded dog that needs a home. And sure, maybe a book.  I am just learning the spiritual dimensions to getting a dog, the emotional issues that tap so deeply into my life and my past. I am  coming to see that when all is said and done, dogs enter my life for a reason, even if I don’t see it for awhile, and they leave when they are done. I know that border collies are my breed. I get that now. Labs also. I need and want dogs that do not frighten people, that I can trust anywhere. That is non-negotiable.

As with other issues in my life, I am weary of drama and pathos. Getting a dog is nothing but joy, and I will not turn the experience into something I do to make me feel good, or an eternal process of grief and guilt. I believe dogs are spirit guides, magical helpers. They come when they choose, they leave when they are ready, and there are countless other spirits lined up waiting to enter our lives if we will let them.

I will.