Our lives are not arguments. Our perspectives need not be the same. Our beliefs are personal, and you do not need to share mine, and I do not need to share yours. Our grieving is individual, and I do not need to do it the way you do it, and you do not need to do it the way I do it.

And here is what I have learned about a life of self-determination:

I do not argue or explain my beliefs and feelings. I do not tell other people what they might think, what they ought to think, how they might find God or Jesus, or might not.  What is sacred for me is this: we all have the right to our own decisions, our own beliefs, our own values. Everyone in this world has had a harder life than me. Everyone in this world is as smart as I am. Everyone in this world is right in their choices and decisions for them, and I bless them and wish them well with the choices they make. Arguments kill ideas and sap the soul’s strength.  Putting up a 35 mm Sunday album on Facebook.