The man with the test results was pale and worried

Doctors everywhere, he said, reading riot acts to him.

Scaring him out of his wits.

Cholesterol High. Blood Pressure Soaring. Arteries Blocked.

Blood sugar rising. Prostate weakening. Blood thinning. Or thickening.

The woman with the test results was frightened,

on the phone to her mother, to her friends.

Her bones thinning. Her estrogen fading. Images and dots

and spots to watch. Be alert. Be frightened. Be aware,

all the time, of what can kill you.

It was hard, they said, getting messages from

their health care. We’ll pay for this, but not for that.

You can get your pills for 30 days, but not 20.

You pay for one test, we’ll pay for two. Or maybe one.

And the bills and explanations and denials pile up

in his cabinets. We pay a lot, but they don’t pay for much.

The man with the test results was angry,

waiting in doctor’s offices. They know nothing, nothing, he said.

Each one says something different, says to call the other.

Not their field. Take a test.

They are awful. They don’t care.

And the woman with the test results said they told her

there were no side effects from their pills, but there were,

there always were – headaches, and soreness and

dizziness and drowsiness, and liver trouble.

And tests for the tests.

Pill factories, she said. Licensed drug dealers, he said.

And the man with the test results was at the

pharmacy every other day, filling his prescriptions,

which lined his bathroom shelves.

And then, at the doctor every other

week to make sure the pills weren’t fighting

with each other. Which they sometimes do, he said.

And we used to feel healthy, they said

And talk of other things.

And the doctors never call back,

and never have time. Only the pharmacists have time.

And the children, they said, are frightened now,

knowing more about cancer and dangerous food

that about life and promise.

And the test results people complain,

that it costs so much money,

and they are always afraid and angry,

and they feel old and tired.

And they are never happy with their tests,

and they live by their numbers, day to day, week to week.

And so why do you go?, I asked the man

with the test results, when you are so unhappy.

And he looked at me strangely,

and with annoyance, as if I were

foolish. Or crazy.

I want to be healthy.