I’ve come across the notion of “Soul-Selling” twice recently. Thoreau used the term in his writings to warn other people against giving away pieces of their souls bit by bit until their lives were drained of meaning and purpose. Last week, Patty Newton, a Tarot Card Reader in Brattleboro, Vt., used it as a warming to me in a similiar way: one of the cards warned of Soul-Selling, which can drained a person of spirituality, well-being and meaning in life.

I knew what both of them meant right away. I am asked to sell pieces of my soul often, as is almost everyone every day. This can happen in relationships, at work, in health care decisions, in messages, work requests, and I am quite capable of doing it to myself. I know now when I am being asked to sell some of my soul. It does not feel good, and I take a deep breath, make sure I am not angry of fearful, and then I say no. I see that this is a literal form of strength. I see that this dilutes and weakens fear.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to write something I didn’t want to write and I could almost literally feel a piece of my soul on the block. I said no. I feel this when someone expresses themselves in anger. When people offer me struggle and pity stories but have done little to change their lives. I came to see that fear is a soul-seller. The more fear I felt, the less soul was left, and fear itself shatters the soul and leaves it spent and weak and sickly.

Conventional wisdom steals my soul. So does the news. Or telling other people what to do. Listening to the stories and scripts of other people. A doctor recently suggested a bunch of tests I did not want to take, and I thanked him for his concern and said I felt well and did not care to have any tests. My soul felt strong. I could not have done that before.  I think in our culture we are asked to sell our souls every day. Sell it for health insurance, for money, to ideas that our now ours, to success,  job security, for a pension or an IRA. When asked to pay attention to a political process gone mad with rage and greed.  My soul is the heart of me, and if I sell it, I am ill.  My soul is not for sale any more, and it centers and grounds me, more each passing day.