A few years ago, I lost faith in myself and my ability to manage my life and make good decisions. I lost faith in my ability to find love and connection. I lost faith in myself as a writer and story-teller able to navigate all of the changes in publishing. Bit by bit, day by day, I am regaining my strength, the strength that made me a journalist, television producer, writer. I am making good decisions for myself. I am learning how to say what I feel and what I need, and to shed the anger and fear that used to be such an integral part of it. Talking to Mary Muncil, my spiritual counselor today, she said something had changed in me the past week. I was finding myself, making decisions more easily, with clarity. My confidence was returning.

Perhaps not as much as I used to have, and that is a good thing. I think this is so. I am going to have such a good year this year, I can feel it on so many levels. We will be in a New Bedlam Farm. I will publish three very different kinds of books. I will cherish my wife every day of my life. I will continue to learn from the accepting and affectionate animals on the farm. I will make the decisions that are best for me, my work and my family and without anger and fear. I am regaining faith in myself. I do not believe I can live a life without faith.  I will pursue my zeal for life, search for my full moon. I will blame only myself for my failures and struggles in life, not others. It is such a beautiful morning her on the farm, and I see the potential in my life. It is up to me to fulfill it.