I was thinking this morning of some of the good decisions I made in 2011, as I have often thought of the bad ones I make.

1. Every morning, I ask myself, how can I better love the people and animals in my life? My wife, my daughter, my friends, the animals on the farm. Sometimes it’s making breakfast for Maria, sometimes reminding her what a good, creative and valuable human being she is. Sometimes it’s letting my daughter go, to live her own life. Sometimes it’s bring some extra apples, carrots or affection to the donkeys. A walk with the dogs. A marrow bone treat. Each act of love is a selfish thing, a gift to me, seeds for the soul.

2. Leaving conventional health care behind. A good and healthy choice for me now. Taking control of my health, my life, cutting back a slice of fear in my life.

3. Turning away from conventional news. For me, the media have become a daily poison, anger and fear pill, like a medication whose side affects have not yet become known. I glace once in awhile, and now, after a year off, their news reminds me every day that I get to set my own agenda. Theirs – money, war, brutality, confrontation and argument, all for profit – is not my agenda, or, I believe most of the world’s.

4. Accepting Simon. Agreeing to take Simon in was a wonderful decision. It opened me up, challenged me, led me to another book, helped me to explore notions of compassion and mercy. I love Simon, and he loves me and Maria as well. What a gift.

5. Accepting spiritual counsel, working on a spiritual life. Two years ago, I went to Rev. Mary Muncil, who married Maria and I, and who has a wonderful blog of her own. I had just finished conventional therapy, initiated after my near- breakdown and divorce, and I said to Mary, “I want a spiritual life.” We are doing amazing work together, she and I, putting a spiritual life together. One of the most powerful and valuable experiences of my life. A spiritual ethos has helped me with fear, love, writing, anger, money and peace of mind. How much is that worth?

6. Helping Rose leave the world. The decision to euthanize Rose was one of the best decisions I made. I am grateful that Maria and I helped her leave the world in comfort and dignity. And that I was able to say goodbye to her, and not cling to her life and memory. She is gone now. Some things we love by letting go.

7. An e-book original. I have decided – this morning, reading your comments – to do an E-Book Original about my life with Rose. More to come. A new direction to supplement the old one.

8. Maria, Maria, Maria. What can I say?

9. Opening Up. To love. To experience. To friendship. To compassion.

There are others, but this is enough for now. I have another decision, a substantial one, to announce after New Year’s Day. I am grateful the opportunity to leave a creative, meaningful and hopefully loving life in 2012.