It used to be such an issue for me, there was so much fear and confusion about my health and health care. As I came to realize that health is a spiritual, not just a medical matter, it became clearer. Even though very few people in our culture would agree with me, or follow my path, it is  now clear to me, not an argument but a choice. I feel so good about what I chose to do, although I conceded it was a difficult process.

Three years ago, I came to see that conventional health care was not working for me. My doctors and I seemed far apart on how I wished to live, and how I wished to die. And on elemental ideas about what health is or isn’t. I came to see the process as profoundly and visibly corrupted by lawyers, corporate pharmaceutical and health insurance companies, lobbyists, and suffocating government regulation. Mostly, doctors were urging me to take tests and receive medications for things that had not yet happened, but which they assured me could happen – heart attacks, high cholesterol,  worsening diabetes,  strokes, circulations problems, cancer of the colon, prostate, and many other potential illnesses. Various doctors told me I needed regular testing and medications to avoid all of these dangers and to remain sexually active and neurologically sound.  If I didn’t take medications, they told me, if I was not tested regularly, then any of these things could befall me and I would suffer, be crippled,  and perhaps die. This notion of testing and preventative medications seemed the core of health to them. It terrified me. I never felt comfortable about it.

At the time, I had been on medications of one kind or another for nearly 40 years – for anxiety, for sleep, for blood sugar issues, then statens to guard against high cholesterol. I began a program of reading – books on the aging process (Sherwin Nuland “How We Die”), and medical studies from schools like Stamford and Harvard on the side affects of medications and the way in which Americans age and eventually die. I became a hospice volunteer and saw some of the brave and meaningful choices people made to make sure they died well and with some control of the process.

I found meticulously researched and disturbing studies on statens and other medications – especially blood pressure, diabetes,  and prostate medications. Much confusion, uncertainty, disagreement about just about every medication, and every pill. I saw a process which made healthy people frightened, and feel old and ill, from obsessions with health to endless testing and pills to senior discounts and the idea we can now live forever.

It seemed that lobbyists and pharmaceutical companies had nearly taken over congressional and government regulators and dictated what insurance companies would pay for and what doctors prescribe. My own doctor told me he no longer looks for health, but for illness, and that the system of modern medicine is about prescribing pills, not keeping people off of them. Even a cursory reading of the affects of many new “miracle” proceedures like hip and joint replacements can find a litany of horror stories, unintended consequences, and unexpected results.

Three years later, I am on no prescription medications. I see a naturopath (an M.D.) who takes blood, blood pressure,  and proscribes some natural medications,  I am sleeping well, I feel strong and healthy, alert and energetic, creative and productive. I went to a nutritionist for a year to learn about food and its impact on my body. I see a spiritual counselor every week to work on my soul, a massage therapist to help keep me limber and fluid. I am never afraid to see these health care practitioners. They all know me well and support my idea of health. I understand that I will eventually fall ill to something and die, and I am working to make sure that I do not end my life in a nursing home or hospital, not my choice for aging or end of life. My wife supports this idea and holds a health proxy for me.

I have learned that we need not surrender our sense of choice, control and well-being when it comes to our health. I have learned that there are many wonderful people who live to health and to promote good health and well-being. I do not argue or proselytize for this approach, and I know most people do not wish to follow it. That’s okay with me. I don’t need to pressure other people, and I don’ t seek agreement.  I am grateful to the many health care practitioners who do not work for money and profit, and who not manipulate my fears and needs. I want to write more about this, as more people ask me about it than any other thing (except Simon). This is just Part One. Part Two coming over the weekend.