The sheep are back

Big day for me. Big decisions, confrontation with self. I want to decide how I want to see myself, how to live in the world. I am weary of letting fear and panic run my life, I am working to give that up. On the way, and every day I ask myself, how can I get there? What do I have to do? I have to let go of some important things. Ways of thinking, of reacting, ways of seeing the world.

I have to trust myself, and believe that I can navigate the world. Sometimes I wake up and think, wow, there is a five-year-old frightened little boy who has a book contract, bills to pay, and a farm. And a new relationship and a looming marriage. However will he do it?