April 24, 2010 – Big day for Maria and I. Lulu and Fanny returned from Darryl Kuehne’s farm in Vermont. At least for the summer. They took a cookie and some carrots, but headed for the fresh grass. They were standoffish, and it will take them a day or so to adjust to us and the farm. I had mixed feelings about their returning.

I was very happy to see them, and it was quite wonderful to see animals up in the pasture, and on the farm. It seems very natural, very comfortable. Maria was very happy, and not at all ambivalent. She missed them. For me, it was a bit more complex. I associated them with a rough time, a sense of losing control, and having farm animals on the farm is difficult. They were last here when I was going through an especially dark time. And their return does evoke that a bit.

But they were wonderful creatures, spiritual and affection and I look forward to reconnecting with them. It is a big responsibility, and it raises all sorts of issues – water, fencing, health. But this is different, as Maria has reminded me. They will be here for the summer, Darryl appreciates saving his own grass for hay, and it will cost us nothing but water and some affection and attention. They already have been woven into our routine. We sat up on the hill with them, and I took some photos.

Part of our lives, symbols of a different time. They typify our love of animals, my love of the farm, my being much more in control of my life, and our decision to stay here. But there was a sober feeling about it also. It will take them some getting used to, and me also.