Frieda has changed. Given the chance, she prefers to be loving and content. So do I.

  August 28, 2009 – Some parts of life we control. Some parts we don’t. Some years ago, plagued by anxiety, confusion and sleeplessness, I went to see an analyst in New York City, a Park Avenue shrink who actually knew Sigmund Freud’s niece Anna. We worked together for seven years, and when we were done, I was taking small amounts of medication nightly to help me get to sleep.
  For three decades I have taken one form of medication or another to help me sleep. A year or two ago, my life changed radically. I ended a long marriage, and found myself face to face with the same issues I faced decades ago, only it was worse. I entered therapy with a clinical social worker, and in the past few years my notions of anxiety, sadness, terror and medicine have all changed. I was eventually diagnosed has having Post-Traumatic-Stress trauma symptoms relating to childhood, also called “night terrors.” I saw conventional MD’s and on my book tour last year, I thought I was going to lose it. I needed some medications to deal with that period, and continued seeking help with sleep.
  I came back from the tour determined to live the rest of my life differently, and to move forward with these issues. To be more knowing, honest, and to try and resolve these problems in a more natural and holistic way. Conventional medicine has limits, and pretends otherwise.
  I got divorced, increased therapy, decided to sell the farm, entered in a new relationship, changed my work to fiction and children’s books, sent most of the animals I had been living with to other farms. I also decided to be open and honest in my work – to tell my story, a healing notion as well as a creative one.This blog has been an important part of that process.
 I also began aggressively exploring alternative forms of medicine. I was tired of doctors with prescription pads giving me pills. So I have tried visualization, psycho-dymanic social work, visualization, tapping, homeopathic medicine, natural drugs like Melatonin, meditation. They are working, slowly, steadily, clearly. I have been giving up medications, gradually and steadily for some months. I have been cutting back on therapy. I have been dealing with the issues in my life directly, and more confidently and honestly. I am sharing my life with a wonderful person I love, as well as with my daughter, of whom I am immensely proud.
  I am deeply impressed with alternative forms of medicine, even as I know conventional medicine is often quite effective, and valuable. But my real progress has come in seeking natural treatments, as with the doctor I have been seeing in a poor upstate town who has been doing energy work with me, laying hands and allowing my body to join in the healing process.
  Today is the first day in 30 years that I will not be on any medication of any kind. I took none last night, and slept well. I have never felt better or been healthier. I see doctors who tell me I am well, rather than who offer me pills and medications and tests.
  So this is an important step. There is nothing wrong with medication if you need it, and there are very good medications offering a lot of help.
  I believe I am done with them, and I think these natural approaches have helped heal some wounds that I thought were beyond aid. Being open to these approaches changed my life, and I am grateful for them.
  My life is not perfect, or joyous, nor do I expect it to be. But the more I opened my mind, the more I healed, and it feels good not to be taking pills. I like it. I am making room for life.