Primrose debuting in my garden. I am no gardener, but I love taking photos of flowers

  June 28, 2009 – Cloudy, rainy, sticky. I get a lot of e-mails from troubled souls asking me if they should put their dog down, and offering detailed accounts of their dog’s illnesses or behavioral problems. I’ve been there, and feel for them.
 Of course I won’t tell anyone whether or not it’s okay to put their dog down, even if I know them and surely not via e-mail. And why would I think I know?
 It’s a personal decision. Increasingly, as people are attached to their animals, they are wracked with guilt, indecision, financial pressures, strange advice from friends and so-called animal advocates, and sometimes suffer extreme grief and loss.
  Some vets are not helpful, advocating expensive and complex medical procedures that people sometimes don’t want, can’t afford but just don’t know how to say no to. Good vets will, if prompted, have an honest conversation with people about whether it’s ethical or feasible to put an animal down. But ultimately, it’s an individual decision. People just have to gather their feelings and information and do what they think best. Sometimes you love a dog by letting go.
  I have little patience for people who tell me their dog or cat will tell them when it’s time.
  I wish that were true. But it’s my job, and I will decide. Dogs don’t make complex decisions like that, no matter how many Disney movies you see.
  I’m sad to meet people who are still grief-stricken years after losing a dog or cat and can’t bear to get another one, while millions of animals languish in shelters. I just don’t get the meaning of love for animals in that context.
 Domestic animals don’t live very long, and if you want them in your life, you will experience loss and sadness. I do believe that noone, certainly not me, can tell you when it’s time. I believe, and have written, that many people are losing perspective in their intensifying relationship with animals, personifying, emotionalizing, and anthropomorphizing them, sometimes to death.
  Sometimes, when dogs and cats they are old and sick, they need advocates the most. Nobody else can do that for them but you.