Rose on her sheepskin

December 4, 2008 – I am a big advocate of change, at least up to a point. One of the curious things about this blog is that some people know what I am thinking before I do, or at least, as soon as I do.
  I wrote earlier today about rethinking the farm, and I got a bunch of e-mail asking if I am thinking about getting rid of some animals, or re-homing them. I guess I am.
  It isn’t really a question of money, although that is a factor. I guess it is a question of proportion. I think I fell into the trap of acquiring some animals mostly because I could, and also of thinking that the  more the better, when that isn’t really who I am or what I feel. I don’t want the farm to be a veterinary clinic or rescue facility. Not what I am about. I want the farm to be a quiet, even spiritual place, a place to write and re-connect to nature and the natural world, and to try and grow and learn.
  The dogs occupy a special place in my personal and emotional life, the core of what I write about. I don’t really love sheep, but love having sheep. They are calm, peaceful and I greatly enjoy taking the sheep out to graze and managing the pastures.
  I am fond of Elvis and the cows, but I have problems with the idea of having steers and cows as pets, especially at this time. The goats are an amusing kind of muse, and they have lots of personalities, but I do not connect with them in the way I do with the donkeys, or with the dogs.
  I want to have time, and space in my head, for writing, friends, for loving, for photography, and for hospice work. Sometimes one has to make space for important things, or we can drown ourselves out with work and anxiety.
  Anxiety has been my demon, I am told, at times. I want to deal with it. So I am considering the farm.
  All of these animals bring issues – feed, manure, water, noise. A farm is an entity, a whole, and I sometimes get the feeling this one escaped from me a bit. This is not a tragedy, or a drama. If that is so, that is part of a cycle that I will embrace and deal with, slowly and hopefully, thoughtfully.  Not in a rush or frenzy.
  And I will share this process with the good people who follow this small piece of earth and encourage me. I have always been honest with you, or tried, and many of you return the favor.
 This is not bad news, quite the opposite. There are plenty of things to think about, write about, and take photos of here.