Murray, the spiritual leader of the Jeering Gallery tried to eat an apple tree today, then tried to eat a satellite cable, then tried to get under the fence, then complained loudly and bitterly that I was ignoring him and jeered at me while I was in the kitchen, brewing coffee. Somebody accused me of loving Murray.
  I ought to get rid of the pest, but I will keep him around because he reminds me that I am powerless in the world, and not as smart or determined as a goat.