July 4, 2008 – Sometimes, when I sit high up in the farmhouse late at night, listening to music, trying to read through e-mail, finally done with the tasks, chores and worries of life, looking out at the vast dark, when the animals are quiet, the dogs asleep, finding peace at the end of the day and sorting through my pictures, sometimes reviewing the successes and failures and joys and sorrows of the day, I do think that God is whispering to me, sending me messages from good hearted people who take time out of their busy lives to sent signals to me. Last night, past midnight, in a broody mood after a challenging day, I was sitting at the computer, and the steady flow of e-mail that comes to the farm had quieted to a whisper, and then one such message came from Barbara, who was out in Sacramento, California. How humbling, I thought, that this person so far away would be thinking of me, a continent away.
She told me that she admired my heart, seeking out beauty in the world, balanced by the reality that it is a hard life sometimes, something all of us, I think, know.
Was I doing that, I wondered? Is that so? I liked the sound of it, yet it seemed so much more gracious than me.
Other people cannot affect us, Barbara wrote, they can only influence us if we let them. We do make choices, she wrote, to live and feel a certain way. Barbara seemed to me a religious person, and sometimes religious people are beautiful writers because they have been reading so much for much of their lives, and feel some things so passionately, and Barbara is, I think, such a person, and it seems odd to know her, since it is unlikely I will ever meet her.
May I share a scripture with you?, she asked politely.
It was this: “God has a purpose and a plan for your life and it is to bless you not to harm you. Enjoy your life. You have a community. It may be a connection through a web page, but it is a real connection to real people.”
And she finished the message this way: “May God’s spirit give you comfort.”
It just did, Barbara, it just did.