July 1, 2008 – I like to say that you never know what a book is about until you write it, and people read it and tell you what it is about. And it is never about what you think it’s about. The same might be said of a blog.
   Yesterday, I wrote about the changes underway on this blog to keep it interesting and accommodate the growing number of visitors. I mentioned that some people had suggested a forum. I got record-breaking amounts of e-mail urging me not to bring a public forum to the site, and I won’t.
  But in the process of sorting through this very passionate reaction, I learned a lot about the site and what people want from it, and think about it. As many of you know, it is very difficult for me to see me, this farm, or this website as anything but a personal expression of my life as I am trying to live it, and the idea that it might have larger significance, meaning or inspiration to people is simply not something I can quite grasp or accept, even as I am coming to see that it is true.
  It is not really for me to say why. I don’t know. It is interesting for me on many levels, one of them being that as a former media critic, I was very excited by the democratizing potential of the Internet, especially the free and open communications I predicted, and imagined. In some ways, this is so. The Net has permitted a great outpouring of creativity and individual expression – like this blog – that was impossible just a decade ago.
 It clearly has also failed to create open spaces where people of differing points of view can approach one another and mix ideas without hostility.
  The Net has spawned a staggering amount of cruelty, anger and abuse, and this has clearly angered and upset many people.  The spaces that do work are heavily monitored and censored, something I did not imagine a few years ago.
  “Please don’t add a forum and bring all that hostility to your site. It’s a place of peace for me, despite the occasional troubles you have, and I would hate to see that intrusion here,” wrote Cindy.
  Jenny from Texas wrote that “there are too many nasty, mean-spirited people who troll the Net with nothing but negativity pouring from their souls, and I don’t think this is the path the majority of your readers want to venture down.” I would say not, judging from the e-mail.
  Bedlamfarm.com “is a sanctuary,” wrote Becky from Tennesse. Forums mostly create hostility, abuse and just general all around dumb behavior.”
  I like the idea of the site as a sanctuary. I go to some pains to share the troubles and bad news as well as the happy and funny stuff, but that doesn’t bother people, I don’t think. They want to see Lenore and Brutus, work with Rose, and go with Izzy to the edge of life.
   The site is, in fact, a monologue, and yet there is, apparently a sense of community about it, which is important to me. The messages helped me grasp what is important about the blog, and what is working, what needs to be preserved and even enhanced. This is not a place of all good news or happy uplifting messages. I have written about depression, life and death on the farm, and the struggles to make the place run.
  Jessica wrote that she loves hearing how I see things, and what my decisions are even though she often disagrees with them. (So does my daughter Emma, who is here and who said she agrees with about a third of what I write. That’s a big increase from last year. Having her here is great. She checks the blog regularly from her computer downstairs to see where I am, and what I am up to.) There are enough conflicting voices out there, she adds, and too many here would be confusing and distracting. Mary Ann, from New York City, said she has little interest in what other people have to say about me and my life.
   People like to follow the antics and dramas of the animals, especially the dogs. But each group of animals has their own constituency, especially the goats, steers and barn cats.
  It is very gratifying to me to see that the photos have added a rich dimension to the site, not because they are great, but because they put a face on the inhabitants here. It is one thing to say Lenore is the Hound of Love, another to show her conquering the place, animal by animal. I can say Rose is a workaholic, but when photos of her running the sheep around are posted, it is clear that it is true. I can write that Winston Sr. was injured, but the photograph of his face did justice to it. So the photos are another element of the story, another way to some sense of truth.
  In any case, I learned a lot from these messages, and I hear them, loud and clear. I don’t mean to pander, but I do want to build a meaningful blog, as opposed to one that simply spouts messages or sells things. How wonderful if it encouraged or inspired people, or just gave some weary souls some respite.
 The site is about animals, but it is also about the individual struggle of each and every one of us to figure out how to live our lives, overcome obstacles, take some risks, find some hope and faith in the world.
  Clearly, we are in it together, and just as clearly, we are not alone. That is a great message to get.