May 10, 2008 –  I am mulling the diabetic seizure I had this morning, including the fact that I was not aware of it and had to be alerted to it by readers of the blog, who noticed it in my posts and mood. How curious.
  I did some farm chores, took some pictures, and mourned my broken lens, my favorite lens, an expensive lens dropped carelessly and yet another reminder of the need to slow down, take some breaths, and now, for the first time, will carry tablets around with me, after a good thumping by my doctor. I am learning every day that I am a sinner, in more ways than can be counted, and one of these days, the reminders will take a more potent form.
  There is nothing admirable or heroic about failing to take diabetes seriously, and I guess the thing I really hate about growing up is that there are so many things you have to stop and think about where, before, you could just do them. So I do have to pay more attention to fatigue and stress and carbs, I suppose, and I suppose I will. There is no point to not living a healthy life, if you want to have a good one.
  But I was blue, I guess.  I moped a bit, then got an inspiring e-mail from Cheryl Lynn who took her dogs out, put all the windows down, rolled back the sunroof, turned up Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers, sang along loudly wth her hand out of the window playing in the wind as she drove. “The sky is blue, the breeze is blowing, the grass is so green it hurts your eyes. Yup. It was a good day to put my lips to the world.”
  All right. Cheryl, I don’t know you, but I love you, you are my sister in life, and I salute you, and will not be outdone by you, or fail to live up to your example.
  So after I thought soberly and maturely about this, I went outside in the same beautiful sun and breeze, put Lenore on the back seat of the four-wheeler, summoned the border collies, always read to go anywhere at anytime, and put on the Ipod, set it to Bob Dylan and the CD “Saved” and his quite great rendition of “Pressing On.” Lenore put her head on my shoulder, and we took off through the woods, the sunlight flashing through the trees. This is better than diabetes, I thought, better than the world of rules, grownups and reminders.
   We sang together, Bob and I. “Well, I’m pressing on, oh yes, I’m pressing on, well I’m pressing on to the higher calling of my Lord, many try to stop me, shake me up in my mind, say prove to me that he is Lord, show me a sign, what kind of sign they need when it call come from within…”
  Okay, so I will press on, simply do that, to continue on the hero’s journey, the search for fiasco and bliss, the never-ending, daily search for a meaningful life. They may try to stop me, shake me up in my mind and body, but I will continue in the service of my  Lord.
  Lips to the world.