Berta, Izzy, an unforgettable relationship

May 9, 2008 – Izzy said goodbye to Berta, Helen and Warren’s daughter, today, and
the farewell was as emotional as it appears in this photo. Every Hospice home is, to some degree, a place of chaos, as the normal settings and routines of life are replaced by hospital beds, wheelchairs, oxygen pumps, catheters, IV’s and medical equipment. Normal life is suspended, sometimes for months. Furniture is moved around, household chores are often put on hold.
  Berta arrived a few days before Helen’s death and has been helping Warren bring the house back to normal. She did an incredible job, cleaning out the kitchen, getting rid of the medicines and lotions, vacuuming, dusting, getting the furniture back in place, beginning to remove her mother’s things. Like Warren and Helen, she never once complained, just set t work. Her grief was evident in her relationship with Izzy, and two grew closer by the day. I have no idea any more what Izzy does or doesn’t know anymore, but he seemed to be saying farewell, zeroing in on Berta and laying on the floor with her, still, the feelings between them passing back and forth. “Thanks, Izzy,” she kept saying, “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I’ll be back soon.”
   The house is back to normal, but it is quite different. Tomorrow, Warren begins his new life, alone in the house he and Helen shared since 1966.
  These two shared a significant experience with one another, and neither will forget the other, I’m sure of that.

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  I’ve been assigned by Washington County Hospice to be a bereavement volunteer for Warren, which means I will continue working with him, not to help through the dying process, but it’s aftermath. I am reading, studying, preparing for this new role. I am fortunate to have a close friend, Becky MacLachlan, who runs a Griefshare workshop in Washington County, and who lost her husband Bill to cancer about 10 years ago. I am also drawing on the resources of Hospice’s bereavement staff and various books and articles. Hospice provides bereavement support to the families for more than a year after the patient is gone.
  I also continue my current work as a Hospice volunteer.
  With Warren’s blessing, I’ve decided to start  a “Hospice Journal: Warren, the Grieving Process”, which I will begin this weekend. I hope to try and capture, through words and photos, the continuing work of Izzy and Lenore, the Hospice dogs, and also the aftermath of losing a loved one. Warren says he is eager to participate, if “it it helps anyone.” I think it might.