December 21, 2007 – I’m eager to get started on the first Bedlam Farm Book, Out of the Shadows, to be published in conjunction with the Troy Bookmakers and the help of Trampoline Design. The book is a collection of writings and photos, to be edited by Maria Heinrich, detailing my experience this year with loss, depression, renewal, and what Joseph Campbell calls the journey to the rebirth of life, one of the oldest and most popular stories in human history. Some of the writing appeared on this blog, some will be new.
  I am planning a series of books under the Bedlam Farm imprint, which is a new and interesting experience for me. We hope to publish four or five books this coming year.
  Some of you noticed I was slipping into something of a depression earlier this fall, and you were right, and noticed it before I did. It deepened, and became something disturbing and challenging. I responded in a number of ways, including faith, family, therapy, reading, dogs, hospice work,  animals, solitude, meditation, camping and the deep and true love of good friends. All together, and slowly and with some difficulty, have worked in different ways for me. The experience was shocking, humbling, and perhaps one of the greatest gifts to me in many years. Without a doubt, I will emerge better, stronger, wiser and happier. Part of this experience was my decision to disclose the depression here on this blog, something I would not have done at any other point in my life and the extraordinary – truly unbelievable – response of so many people from so many different places with ideas, encouragement, poems, quotes and much affection and support.
  As with many such depressions, this one was rooted in some real loss and genuine pain, hard to distinguish from clinical depressions, which I had not experienced to my knowledge. It was serious stuff, and it left me quite shaken and changed. I am fascinated by it, and its connection to other things, such as truth, the purpose of pain, change and myth. I guess for a writer, all news is good news, even if it didn’t feel good. Anyway, we hope to publish the book in January or February and then to onto other books.
   I am excited to begin work on “Out of the Shadows.” I want to keep learning, keep growing, keep changing. This is part of the rebirth of life for me. I am also mulling a photo book on my hospice work with Izzy, and we are going ahead with a collection of poetry from Mary Kellogg, Bill and Maria Heinrich’s experiences with restoration.