January 22, 2009 – I’ve been spending so many hours at the computer writing my short stories that my eyes are needing a rest. Computer eyes. Going to take it easy to today.

I’ve often read this idea that in all of us there is an undamaged, unbroken core, the spirit of us that is pure and intact. Campbell writes about this, and so does Merton. Some Buddhists and Christian writers as well. I’m not sure about it, but I love the power of the idea. Some meditation is focused on reaching this space, because that is where peace is. None of us will be living lives free of pain, fear, challenge or confusion. Nor should we.

Yesterday I sat in front of the wood stove. I was tired, a bit discouraged, and also a bit overwhelmed by all of the things I had to do, and the glitches that kept popping up. I sat down. Frieda lay on my right, Lenore on my left, Rose on her chair to my right, Izzy across from her. The house and farm were quiet. I closed my eyes,and I imagined myself as a piece of soap, and with each breath I was slicing away the craziness and distraction, believing that underneath, at the core, there was this undamaged, peaceful core. I did not get there, but I will. I can feel it.

Peace comes from living amidst the reality of our lives, not escaping it. We all hear the news, know people who get sick and die, have trouble and conflict, disappointment and loss. We also have joy, love, happiness, challenge and triumph. The brew of life. In our time, peace is coming to mean something new, something different. I think it is getting to the core of us, the unreachable part, the purest part. When we can.