Izzy and Warren were inseparable tonight

March 19, 2008 – The Hospice Journal has been a remarkable experience for me, and it has, I believe, from the reaction from all over the country and some of the world, helped lift some of the veil and shroud around the process of dying, which can be beautiful, uplifting and always powerful.  The dying and their families often feel alone, even shunned, and this Journal has eased that a bit, I believe, for the families who are a part of it, their legacy to the world. I am equally grateful to the Washington County Hospice and Palliative Care program that has trained me, watches me and supports the work Izzy and Lenore are doing so vigorously. The Hospice staff are warriors for compassion, all of them.
   I am forever grateful to the families who have allowed me and my camera into the most intimate moments of their lives. I can’t imagine a greater trust or responsibility.
 Still, there is a point in every Journal experience, where, despite this generousity and openness,  I put the camera down and leave sacrosanct the process of leaving the world in dignity, and some privacy. Last night, when Izzy and I came to visit Helen, I saw we were at that point, and I put the camera down. The families always leave this decision to me, and I made it.
   There will be no more photos of Helen.
   I spent some beautiful hours today with this loving couple, and Izzy (this is now work for Izzy alone, until Lenore gets older)  practically glued himself to Warren, who is as exhausted as he is faithful and patient.  There is a point in every process where Izzy turns to a family member, and last night was that. Helen noticed this, and said she was glad. “Warren loves Izzy, and it is wonderful for me to see them together.”
  Helen asked for Izzy to come up on the bed briefly, which he did, but she was too tired to see him for long, and she asked if I could read her some stories and poems. We have a beautiful relationship, and I have enjoyed few things in life more than reading to her, watching her smile, laugh, sometimes cry as we discover new poets and poems all the time. “It seems we have a new poem every day,” she said.
  When Warren left the room, Helen took my hand and told he she was worried about Warren.”He is taking such good care of me, he must be tired,” she said. I told her to worry about herself, and she smiled, and said “well, everybody seems to be worrying about a sick old lady.” I told her to be quiet and behave.
   Helen closes her eyes when she hears a poem he loves, and after an hour or so, she fell asleep. We made a date for tomorrow and we will have another favorite poem then, hopefully. The couple is thinking of Easter, and remembered other Easters this afternoon.
  This was our favorite poem today, from our new favorite poet, Mary Oliver. Warren and Helen closed their eyes when I read this poem, and asked me to read it again.

                                                    “A Pretty Song”

                                       “From the complications of loving you
                                        I think there is no end or return.
                                        No answer, no coming out of it.

                                         Which is the only way to love, isn’t it?
                                         This isn’t a playground, this is
                                         earth, our heaven, for a while.

                                         Therefore I have given precedence
                                         to all my sudden, sullen, dark moods
                                         that hold you in the center of my world.

                                          And I say to my body: grow thinner still.
                                          And I say to my fingers, type me a pretty song.
                                          And I say to my heart: rave on.”

     Rave on, Helen.